Uncle Tom's Great Grandchild Story #2 Epidemic
Jazzed played, the artist: Archie Shepp. The song: The Blues for Brother George Jackson. The argument: Are police shootings of unarmed black men an epidemic?
Colin paced. He held a newspaper. He pretended to read. Julie sat in the beanbag chair with a sketch pad. She pretended to outline a logo for Colin’s blog Uncle Tom’s Great Grandchild.
They argued through other genres of music but jazz ended the debate. Jazz mingled their memories. They met at a jazz festival. Their souls mated at first sight. She liked the trumpet. He liked the saxophone. During instrument solos their minds made notes for the other to read.
To Mr. Know Everything:
I said it’s like an epidemic. The key word is “like”. And if you knew everything you would know “like” is a simile, a comparison using like or as, for example, black conservatives are like cordless phones … always off base.
Julie
To Miss Generalizations:
All I said was not even close. Then you called me crazy for suggesting that it wasn’t a problem. I know you used a simile, but epidemic and problem are not synonyms.
Colin
To Crazy Man:
I called you crazy for assuming that you knew the comparison I was going to make. Then I said that’s your problem. Then you got mad and accused me of not knowing what I was talking about because I couldn’t recite definitions verbatim on the spot.
Julie
To Woman without Dictionary:
It was a simple question, define epidemic. Then you started your sentence with, “I think it means…” but I didn’t ask for your opinion. I think it’s crazy to compare one thing to another you can’t define. I take that back. It’s not crazy, it’s anti-intellectual.
Colin
To Whom It May Offend:
I know you didn’t look at me like I’m an intellectual infant. Look here you pointy eared, big Clearance Thomas head having, Thomas Sowell reading, Milton Friedman worshiping, trickle down economic theory believing, republican voting, vast right wing conspiracy supporting, African holocaust denying, reparations rejecting, welfare reform supporting raised on food stamps forgetting, affirmative action criticizing minority scholarship receiving, Condoleezza Rice admiring, Stacy Dash attracted, Star Spangled Banner singing, unpublished novelist after several attempts, George Schuyler wannabe!!! Don’t ever look at me with that false sense of superiority again!
Julie
Dear Miss Ad Hominem Attack:
I can tell by the smirk on your face that you called me everything from a race traitor to a self hater, but all the names on the continent of Africa won’t change the fact that the attack rate of an epidemic is 15 persons per 100,000 in a two week period.
Colin
To he that doesn’t understand why he has two ears and one mouth:
I was going to point out over a thirteen year period 2,151 whites were killed by the police compared to 1,130 blacks. The epidemic I referred to was the media’s misunderstanding of racial issues that divides and keeps the real problem concealed.
Julie
The jazz tune went off. Al Green’s Love and Happiness played. The couple didn’t speak. Colin stopped pacing. A headline in the paper grabbed his attention. Julie doodled on the sketch pad. Colin handed Julie the paper. He pointed to what he just read. Julie glanced.
The newspaper article was titled: Wars & The pain pill epidemic
The first paragraph read: “Deadly Pain Pills: Every day, 46 people die from legal pain pills” began the cover article in the September 2014 Consumer Reports magazine. That’s 16,790 deaths per year in the U.S. from legal pain pills -- more than double, in one year, the total U.S. fatalities in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.
Julie handed the paper back to Colin and said, “Shut up.”
Colin paced. He held a newspaper. He pretended to read. Julie sat in the beanbag chair with a sketch pad. She pretended to outline a logo for Colin’s blog Uncle Tom’s Great Grandchild.
They argued through other genres of music but jazz ended the debate. Jazz mingled their memories. They met at a jazz festival. Their souls mated at first sight. She liked the trumpet. He liked the saxophone. During instrument solos their minds made notes for the other to read.
To Mr. Know Everything:
I said it’s like an epidemic. The key word is “like”. And if you knew everything you would know “like” is a simile, a comparison using like or as, for example, black conservatives are like cordless phones … always off base.
Julie
To Miss Generalizations:
All I said was not even close. Then you called me crazy for suggesting that it wasn’t a problem. I know you used a simile, but epidemic and problem are not synonyms.
Colin
To Crazy Man:
I called you crazy for assuming that you knew the comparison I was going to make. Then I said that’s your problem. Then you got mad and accused me of not knowing what I was talking about because I couldn’t recite definitions verbatim on the spot.
Julie
To Woman without Dictionary:
It was a simple question, define epidemic. Then you started your sentence with, “I think it means…” but I didn’t ask for your opinion. I think it’s crazy to compare one thing to another you can’t define. I take that back. It’s not crazy, it’s anti-intellectual.
Colin
To Whom It May Offend:
I know you didn’t look at me like I’m an intellectual infant. Look here you pointy eared, big Clearance Thomas head having, Thomas Sowell reading, Milton Friedman worshiping, trickle down economic theory believing, republican voting, vast right wing conspiracy supporting, African holocaust denying, reparations rejecting, welfare reform supporting raised on food stamps forgetting, affirmative action criticizing minority scholarship receiving, Condoleezza Rice admiring, Stacy Dash attracted, Star Spangled Banner singing, unpublished novelist after several attempts, George Schuyler wannabe!!! Don’t ever look at me with that false sense of superiority again!
Julie
Dear Miss Ad Hominem Attack:
I can tell by the smirk on your face that you called me everything from a race traitor to a self hater, but all the names on the continent of Africa won’t change the fact that the attack rate of an epidemic is 15 persons per 100,000 in a two week period.
Colin
To he that doesn’t understand why he has two ears and one mouth:
I was going to point out over a thirteen year period 2,151 whites were killed by the police compared to 1,130 blacks. The epidemic I referred to was the media’s misunderstanding of racial issues that divides and keeps the real problem concealed.
Julie
The jazz tune went off. Al Green’s Love and Happiness played. The couple didn’t speak. Colin stopped pacing. A headline in the paper grabbed his attention. Julie doodled on the sketch pad. Colin handed Julie the paper. He pointed to what he just read. Julie glanced.
The newspaper article was titled: Wars & The pain pill epidemic
The first paragraph read: “Deadly Pain Pills: Every day, 46 people die from legal pain pills” began the cover article in the September 2014 Consumer Reports magazine. That’s 16,790 deaths per year in the U.S. from legal pain pills -- more than double, in one year, the total U.S. fatalities in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.
Julie handed the paper back to Colin and said, “Shut up.”
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